Thursday, July 16, 2009

Bravo New World?

Voluntary Humiliation Queue

Scores of Miami artist peppered with other dreamers from across this "liberal arts" nation gathered in the sweltering heat of the swamp to audition for the next reality teevee show. Solicited by the otherwise respectable Bravo with cohort Jessica from sex in the city, young, old and freaky lined up to have a shot at soothsayer andy's fifteen minute promise.

Breakfast Special, Artlurker and Captain Justice.

The unholy affair was a particularly welcome spectacle for certain natives steeped in the art world. If you put aside the profound repercussions of how mass culture marketeers vie in desperation for the packaging and delivery of relative reality to soccer moms, nascar dads and their culture starved offspring, then it is easy to have a beer for breakfast now an then. The day of the cattle call was tantamount to the tropical storm warnings we are accustomed to in the swamp.

Gotta be In It to Win It.

I imagine plenty of the callused rejection that artist are accustomed to was delivered.
By 2pm the deciders had decided on about a dozen. They are presumably the predetermined local heavies, a couple of cute chicks, several ethnics types, freak-showies, somebody's gay cousin and the usual plants. The reality felt dreadfully scripted.
Which begs the question, with auditions in NY, LA, Chicago and Miami, is there any marketing or anthropological value to the archive of artists that Bravo has amassed? Are the bloody contracts void for those rejected? Will it all end up in a shredder?

I fell in love with this old fart, but she was betrothed.

Talent is the art of persuasion, it is having rhetorical monkeys fly out of your arsenal at that very special moment.

The casting was a civil affair, everyone's behavior was exemplary, except for BruceHighQuality. in their rented sexcalade. Gotta love the relevant irreverent!

If I had to write a name for Bravo's Untitled Art Project it might be "reality bites back" or "sex in the museum".


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the recap- I was there, too. I wish I had seen the Bruce folks, but I must have already been inside. While I saw many people come out of round 2 looking abused, I thought it was one of the tamest reviews I've through. Even though I was rejected, I came out feeling pretty good about my work and kinda thankful that I didn't make it to the next round- I would really resent having to make a piece of art just for them, which is what I heard you had to do if you made it to round three. I guess I am only willing to be someone's circus monkey for so long and after the 9000 degree temps out there I'd had enough. Did you see any sculptors make it to round 3? As far as i know I was the only large outdoor sculptor and everyone I saw get a pass to round 3 was 2d or performance.