Snapshots n Broomsticks

Social anthropology is best expressed in journalese. A cardboard and spit model by Hirschhorn casually captures the compartmentalized cubical mindset of our time in the information swamp.

Our national pastime of brutality and teamwork is no stranger to South Florida. A solitary American Modern cast concrete sculpture guards a playing field at a local public school near Kendall.

Winning Wynwood. Another excellent street art mural (formerly known as graffiti) adorns an otherwise blighted wall. Go Heat! is an ironic mantra for summer in the swamp.

Elevator Going Sideways. Lovable droid Dr. Milagros Bello is looking for curators to embellish another polished arts institution dedicated to contemporary art. Whatever that is.

Yes ! In Their Front Yard. A very swampy display of bronzed individuality on a private residence in North Beach. Kinda Dali meets Harry Potter.

Arrested Development. An unfinished condominium tower construction stands empty 3 years and counting, most likely from bankruptcy.

Shade is for Quitters. A newly installed retro design shelter-free bus bench sits blasted by August microwaves in Bal Harbor. The new 2 seater replaced a common urban rider-friendly s bench and shade structure but alas that modern design proved fatal. The town's persistent quest for street beautification has become a cycle of tax n spend. For what?

Good Day of Fishing. 8:00 AM The boys and their toys set up to for the daily entrapment of unsuspecting, though certainly neurotic, motorists on Sunny Isles. At $250. bucks per sucker, their quota is complete by 10 AM, just in time to load up at the donut shop, lay low till 3:00PM when the extortion racket begins anew.

Potential Pedal Power. A rack of pricy euro generic gps bikes sit idle on South Beach, rusting faster than you can say Critical Mass.

SOBE is truly underwater. Yet it is a comfort for old-timers to see the Off-season return to what it was before the boom, a place for locals. For tourists who come here in the middle of summer there are places like Prime One or Delano for them to crowd together get fleeced and pretend resort-town is hoppin' hip worth it.

The naked truth is, Miami the city has grown exponentially flat yet the beaches remain indisputably the best thing about the swamp.

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Sustenance Soirre

Gastronomic! Babay

At the INVENTORY Show "Objects of Desire" in Miami's Design District, one can nourish the mind with a sampling of delectable artworks by a cornucopia of locals including Victor Muñiz and Michelle Weinberg. There are some intriguing pieces to enjoy and digest or dissect at the scheduled panel discussions.

Animal Farm

Of particular note is the perfectly swampy work of Paloma Teppa. Perfect because they are our segway to the tenth annual SOBE Wine and Food Festival. With mouthwatering anticipation that compliment thoughts of culinary indulgence, this year's gorge-fest featured the art of sustenance. If you could stomach the $350. per person crowd, the multiple events were the gluttons' dreams come true.

2011 a Smoker Odyssey

With all the burners on full blast, one big event was behind the Delano. BubbleQ (champaign and barbeque of all things) featured over 30 chefs and restaurants from across this satisfied and overweight nation.

When it comes to nutritious food preparation, I say, "eat local, refrigerate and devour everything".

Food Face

Who can transform modern sculptures into an omnivore's dream BBQ?

Who is the cook extraordinairre that welds his own stoves?

Well, Jason Hedges of course.

This iron chef has been pleasing the optics and palettes of Miami's artist community for seasons. Hedges can take the heat and come up cooling, with some of the most interesting interactive and spontaneous gastronomic events known to the art of munching.

Hedges may be the saucier of the swamp, but there is another kitchen magician that taste connoisseurs recognize from the mass culture food channel.

A word from our sponsor

It is Under the Tuscan Gun, seen here on Lincoln Road endorsing Mrs. Swampthing's legendary Min Treats Oatmeal Cookies. Only the bestest "Guilt Free" snack in the world !

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Yearning for a Learning

A,B,C and vegetable goop
What will I find in my alphabet soup?

With one last go-round of hop-scotch the end of summer vacations turn our sights towards textbooks and information.
Our First Lady went to Prinston AND Harvard.



Tonight!

But can she replace Larry 'king of talk" King who went to the SoBe School of Journalism.
Perhaps, but she is overqualified.



Lone Dissenter

Little Dennis Kucinich went to school and got a degree in speech and communication.
Today he speaks truth to power in the u.s. congress.



Trophy Lady

He also caught the fancy of a looker, Elizabeth who wrote "Conflict Resolution in World Politics".



Best in Class

Alex Sink went to the private Wake Forest University and she is now poised to be our next Governor. This week she got the ear of the POTUS while in Miami.

Kendrick Meek settled for Clinton at the Gusman downtown.




Growth is Not an Option Anymore

Build in my backyard and they will come.
The Fontainebleau Hotel was all up in the news this week when Obama blowed into town for a meet-and-greet with supporters.

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. — President Barack Obama's brief visit to Miami Beach brought cheers and protests Wednesday, drawing $700,000 in donations for Democrats... secret service detail, travel and bagels 3,000,000.

a corned beef sandwich for the commander-in-chief

After all those miles and mingling smiles, Obama would not be well advised if he was not steered towards a big meal from the local delicatessen where Kendrick ordered cold borscht, knishes, corned beef sandwich and a ruben on rye for the first lady. The girls seemed to like the pumpernickel buns, coleslaw n pickled green tomatoes but their favorite was banana cream pie.



Gastronomic Rainbow

A poll on Lincoln Road showed that one out of five Americans think the president is
50% Kosher.
I will not argue with that.



Enough Eating, Do Some Learning

So it is Back to School for million of kids across the nation. For those fortunate enough to go to public schools where diminished fund and guttural morals are pervasive, pack some tatter-tots and best of luck. Above all, try to think for yourselves and ask "are the inmates are running the asylum".




Bound to Literacy

Some kids are drawn to books like locust to corn, way many others i fear are not. For them there is a culture of orality which can serve just as well, given the proper script of reason and argument.



Class of 2011

The quest for knowledge is an odyssey.
The accumulation of information is a burden.

Obama came to me in a dream and said,
"swampthing, make jobs."
I said ok, but the only jobs available are top secret.


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whatever happened here... Sobe It

I was lucky to have spent time with the father of Flabbergast architecture Morris Lapidus in 1998. He couldn't get out much then, so we would visit and listen to him for hours. He gave me this old book by Harold Mehling (1960Harcourt,Brace). The book jacket blurb closed with this comment:

"Mehling draws a incisive portrait of a city that is part in our time, but - fortunately- is not typical of america or americans. He also takes a startlingly dim view of the city's future as a resort: America has grown-up, while Miami Beach has not."

But is the past 50 years america has grown dumb and Miami Beach has just grown crass. Mehling writes:

"Tourist bring the notion that they can't take it with them, and this notion stimulates a spirited game. Not everyone can win this game, of course, but everyone can have a good time playing."

That "hook" has not changed, it's the 'whatever happens here' cliche.

"In Miami Beach a first-rank hotel makes available immense public spaces in which to show-off, and smaller private spaces in which to drop-off. There are people for whom these two requirements are not reducible, for a number of social and emotional reasons. They make up a way of life."

Fast-foreward 2008. This "princess" was strutting along Ocean Drive happy as whore in baghdad.... flabbergast indeed.