Sunday, May 31, 2009

What is Swampy?

Bang Zoom, to the Swamp!

Just a short road-trip north from the Latin-Manhattan that is Miami you will find the seaside town of Coco Beach where the classic TV show "I dream of Jeannie" was filmed. The story begins with an unsuspecting astronaut who finds a washed up bottle on the beach, takes it home and opens it to reveal, shazzam, one hottie of a genie, who becomes something of a wife, tormentor, deliverer of wishes, and a threat to the entire space program. The central task for our hapless space cadet was to keep the genie in the bottle, or at best home n barefoot.

Out of the Bottle, into the Swamp.

Just north of Coco Beach, anchored on the very swamp that gave birth to Barbara Eden's irresistible TV character is Cape Canaveral home for the Kennedy Space Center and the epicenter of the Shuttle/Scuttle Program. If I had to find something that typifies what is Swampstyle, look no further than our very own space program.


Nothing beats the thunder and lightning of a rocket launch. Packing a punch and boom that can tremor through the bones of even the most jaded spectator, every launch is a huge thing. Danger and Beauty are synonymous with the swamp and since the days of our putting a man on the Moon, NASA space program is also totally dangerous and beautiful.

Don't Mess with this Extension of an Identity.

For obnoxious people who lust for wartime stuff like Hummers, how's bout the next generation of peacetime heavy personal transport vehicle to rule the swampways. Can you name other stuff we use everyday courtesy of Space R & D.

Practice Makes Perfectionists.

Imagine going to work, suiting up and jumping in a giant pool filled with tools n toys, yippie thats swampstyle.

Nothing Rhymes with Orange.

There is nothing that can compare to the thrill of leaving this planet and looking back from space to see just how blue it is, just how commanding the energy of gravity is how it keeps us in orbit pulls us back, just like the swamp.

Is there a human in there?

The vacuum of space is a most inhospitable place as is the bug infested swamp, but we are compelled to go there with the dreams of finding our own genie in a bottle... or the perfect donut.

To Go Where No Donut has Gone Before.

Space really is the final frontier, but there is Inner and Outer space, if you know what i mean.
Another TV show i grew up watching was Star Trek, probably just the best space kitsch ever.
All that next generation stuff is nice but the original will always be as swampy as it gets.

Pointy-headed Logic Extraordinair.

Father of all nerds Dr Spock, please come to the emergency room... bring your music. The ears, the hair, the vulcan salutation, all very swampy.

Captain Phallus to the Raunch Pad.

Yes he is still the captain even after all those sorry ass TV commercials for hotel room deals and such. William Shatner's signature sly smile is also swampy.

If I die, Please put my ass in a gold box and send it up to Space.

Top Secret Super Sensitive Cargo.

Yes nothing is safe from you know-it-alls out there.
Now you know what is swampy.

Next installment, I will tell you what is NOT swampy, like you don't already know.


Monday, May 25, 2009

7 Dreadful Spins

Rules of the Game of Life.
Charelton Heston displays his guns for all mortals to behold.

According to lore from pre-history, an old man who was very close to the heavens was given the monumental task of delivering the laws of god to regular folk. He called it the Ten Commandments and we live and die by them today. But there are other rules of behavior that are no less consequential to our earthy existence. They have been tweaked through the ages but are basically the same today as in the beginning of time.

Truth in Advertising- using human weakness to sell stuff.

Can we White-wash the Tally at the End of the Trail, No.

Let's be honest, who among us has avoided lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy or pride? When you line up at the big check-out counter, what will the scanner read of your lifetime of trial and error that typify human all experience?

Road-map for personal Growth.

Like google earth, we venture out into the world of virtual illusions. At first kind of slowly then gradually speeding to a frenzy, each personal journey shares a common road; a boulevard that is worn with potholes, speed-bumps and tolls. Be mindful of the signs along your way. All rivers may lead to the ocean, but man has dammed the way with detours and distractions that are cul-de-sacs at best, dead-ends at worst. There is no teflon coating on life's super highway.

In the Garden of Swampy Delights.

As chance would have it, many of us grew up watching silly sit-coms like Gilligan's Island or Star Trek without reading stuff like Rudolph Steiner or the Koran. But what is fascinating today is discovering the hidden lessons in Hollywood's most trivial TV shows.

Tale of the Castaways.

Each member of the cast of Gilligan's Island is the embodiment of one of each of the Seven Deadly Sins. Left to right- The Professor, Mary Ann, Gilligan, Ginger, Thurston Howell III, Mrs Howell, The Captain. Can you guess who is who?

It's getting Hot Up in Here!

Listen to the revealing words of the late great John Pope Paul II.
He said something like this...

...heaven and hell are not a place in the clouds or a hole of fire... they are a state of mind (a construct inside our heads) right here on earth.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Urban Decoration Day

simply iconic.... roy lincolnstein's atomic bomb painting.

Go give money to dear Peace Mom, Cindy Sheehan.

... and have an urbane urban weekend in SOBE, blood.


Thursday, May 21, 2009


DENILE |de-nīl|

the river in eastern Africa, the longest river in the world, that rises in east central Africa near Lake Victoria and flows 4,160 miles (6,695 km) north through Uganda, Sudan, and Egypt to empty through a large delta into the Mediterranean Sea

"There's a blog born every minute, but there are only X amount newspapers."

ANGER |ˈa ng gər|

the guy who gained fame and notoriety from the publication of the French version of Hollywood Babylon in Paris in 1959, a tell-all book of the scandals of Hollywood's rich and famous. A pirated (and incomplete) version was first published in the U.S. in 1965. The official U.S. version was not published until 1974.

"So many thoughts (in my little mind), so little time to blog."

ACCEPTANCE |akˈseptəns| noun

Yes the willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation : a mood of resigned acceptance.

" World I love You, All is Groovy" George Horner Poster


Sunday, May 10, 2009

happy mamasita day

"Tell yo mama i axed you, how she duirn?"
Shirley Q. Liquor

Swampthings mom is the one and only mother nature. Your mom might look like this also.

Or she might be the dearest of dear kind... till she has to screeeeeeeeeeeeeeem your head off.

Your mother might probably be the the type to rent this costume for a night out on the town.

Or she may honestly be the milk and cookies kind of lady that i would never say anything bad about.

But one thing for sure, mother nature is a strange and beautiful thing that bewilders.

This is somebodies mom.

... and it Ain't Bee my business if yo mama's raising eyebrows in Mayberry.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Clash (not the band)

In todays new world odor there are often clashes between regular folk and the authorities. The scenes play out like just another day in the global village. For now each country still has their own fancy national uniforms but demonstrators around the world all look about the same, in a word menchydowntrodddeners. The occasional cracked scull n rubber bullets are one thing, but...

... it's the militarization of civilian police, stupid.

Can you guess which caption goes with which photo?

A. Dancing to different drummers...

B. Save a ton o money on your riot insurance...

C. It's a desert thing...

D. Check-up from the neck-up free dental...

E. Helmet-heads united for peace...

F. Shut the F up before i break your neck.

G. Daytime Rave in N. Korea... uups

Bloke, those pants a radical...

Pink Peruvian cap $5. plaid vest $5. Speedo $5. Matrix sunglassed $5.
Laugh Out Loud with the Riot Squad, priceless.


1. Police confront demonstrators during a protest against the outcome of Sunday's election in Chisinau April 7, 2009. Thousands of demonstrators denouncing a Communist victory in ex-Soviet Moldova's parliamentary election smashed windows of the president's offices on Tuesday and hurled stones at police. Reuters

2. Police scuffle with demonstrators during a protest calling for a ceasefire in Sri Lanka, in central London April 7, 2009. Hundreds of Tamil protesters staged an overnight protest outside Britain's parliament on Tuesday calling for London's help in securing a ceasefire between Sri Lankan forces and Tamil Tiger separatists.

3. German riot police detain a demonstrator during a protest in Berlin, April 4, 2009. Around 500 people took part in the demonstration to set a sign against a party meeting of Germany's far-right NPD at the city hall of the German capital's Reinickendorf district. Reuters

4. Anti-NATO activists stage a protest in front of a squad of riot police in downtown Strasbourg, eastern France, Saturday April 4, 2009, during NATO's 60th-anniversary summit. Police held back protesters with tear gas and detained two dozen people in a pre-dawn clash before a summit of leaders of 28 NATO nations on the French-German border. AP

5. An anti-NATO demonstrator plays the drums as French riot police block a group staging a protest next to the congress centre where leaders are meeting in Strasbourg, April 4, 2009. The North Atlantic Treaty Organisation (NATO) military alliance is celebrating its 60th anniversary this week at a summit co-hosted by Germany and France. Reuters

6. BADEN-BADEN, GERMANY - APRIL 03: A policeman frisks a protester in a demonstration against the NATO summit on April 3, 2009 in Baden-Baden, Germany. According to the police around 300 demonstrators protest ahead of the NATO summit attended by 28 leaders including U.S. President Barack Obama. Getty

7. Demonstrators clash with police during protests near the Bank of England in London April 1, 2009. Thousands of demonstrators converged on London's financial district on Wednesday, chanting "abolish money" and "storm the banks" in a heavily policed protest to coincide with the G20 summit of world leaders. Reuters

Hint: Visit Cryptome, crypiest out-a-control renegade info site on the web. How they stay in business is amazingly comforting to all FOIA freaks.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

scenes from about 2

Soliciting temp office help from the LA has been great. My new secretary, Biggie Tim, was recently assigned to venture out on a mission in Miami; to photograph whatever was of interest. He has since been promoted to entry level location scout. Can you ID these swampy landmarks and curios?

When it went south, it went really sour.

Sorry, no gas here, just lube-jobs....

Ha ha, where do yucas exit....

Not big or loud enough, try again...


Jebsuz Rasputin, mother of all lawn ornaments...

Who you calling Wang Fo....

Lost in space n time...

aka techno-lust emporium...

the beige music place...

Thanks Tim, together we can-can.