Monday, June 15, 2009

a swampy fable

Align Centera swampy fable


The old moose thought himself a gentleman but was more a curmudgeon. The Hyena was a spotty blond in the prime of her adolescence. The Monkey was a descendant of ape royalty, but mostly just plain ripe from a life of sloth and mischief.

The three lived in captivity comfortably since birth at the Metro Zoo on the edge of the Florida Everglades. Not knowing the hardships of life in the wild, they yearned with instinct for adventure in the great microcosms beyond the confines of the zoo. At night the Zoo keepers would watch Netflix movies and the animals would lay awake in their respective dens and listen to the stories told. One of Moose's favorite films was The Great Escape with Steve McQueen, Hyena's favorite was Cameron Diaz in Charley's Angels and it was no secret that Monkey wanted to be just like Jim Carrey in The Mask.

One day as the tropical storm season neared the three were hanging out rather bored and got to joking about breaking out of the Zoo to see firsthand what the big world was all about. The conversation suddenly got serious when the shifty Monkey challenged Moose's mettle. The Hyena, who was reading the New Times newspaper , suddenly proclaimed the headline "Hurricane Wilma Makes Landfall Tonight". They all looked at each other and thought of past storms like Andrew when other animals had escaped and wandered off into the swamp or the bright lights of downtown. Bored and naive they quickly hatched a plan to escape that night but could not agree on where to go once out.

The Moose always wanted to go to Key West for that old-world Hemingway charm. Hyena naturally had a nose for the nocturnal thrills of South Beach. Monkey, though having family that would take him in at Monkey Jungle, decided to go to West Palm Beach to hobnob with the affluent. As the storm bore down on South Florida they made a mad dash for the battered gates. After a treacherous hike through the windy rains, debris and darkness they found shelter in an empty MetroRail station. The next morning they bid farewell and parted ways for their favored destination.

Once there Moose was startled by hordes of overdeveloped tourists buying tee-shirts and sweet frozen drinks in fake coconuts. Finally his prudishness was confounded by the freakishness of Fantasy Fest. The next morning, with moldy indignation, Moose lumbered back to the Zoo.

Meanwhile our lass Hyena was soon basking in the bacchanal of Miami's Riviera with eyes bigger than her tummy and soon the room began to spin like a dervish. She awoke on the sandy beach in the jaws of a slimy land shark. With her shrieking pleas and the shark’s growl, she was gnawed to bits and left for bait on the shore.

Mister Monkey Prince grabbed some nice pants at a laundromat then made his way hitching rides northbound to Phillips Point Private Golf Club inthe spoils of West Palm Beach. He managed to make his way into the clubhouse where members were mingling at a fundraiser. No one would talk to him at first, the snoots were snubbing him! But with his big-talk, pedigee and balderdash, he was soon made a distinguished member. No one ever discovered he had made a home in the stables with his new confidants, the polo horses.

People like what they are used to.


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