Sunday, May 31, 2009

What is Swampy?

Bang Zoom, to the Swamp!

Just a short road-trip north from the Latin-Manhattan that is Miami you will find the seaside town of Coco Beach where the classic TV show "I dream of Jeannie" was filmed. The story begins with an unsuspecting astronaut who finds a washed up bottle on the beach, takes it home and opens it to reveal, shazzam, one hottie of a genie, who becomes something of a wife, tormentor, deliverer of wishes, and a threat to the entire space program. The central task for our hapless space cadet was to keep the genie in the bottle, or at best home n barefoot.

Out of the Bottle, into the Swamp.

Just north of Coco Beach, anchored on the very swamp that gave birth to Barbara Eden's irresistible TV character is Cape Canaveral home for the Kennedy Space Center and the epicenter of the Shuttle/Scuttle Program. If I had to find something that typifies what is Swampstyle, look no further than our very own space program.


Nothing beats the thunder and lightning of a rocket launch. Packing a punch and boom that can tremor through the bones of even the most jaded spectator, every launch is a huge thing. Danger and Beauty are synonymous with the swamp and since the days of our putting a man on the Moon, NASA space program is also totally dangerous and beautiful.

Don't Mess with this Extension of an Identity.

For obnoxious people who lust for wartime stuff like Hummers, how's bout the next generation of peacetime heavy personal transport vehicle to rule the swampways. Can you name other stuff we use everyday courtesy of Space R & D.

Practice Makes Perfectionists.

Imagine going to work, suiting up and jumping in a giant pool filled with tools n toys, yippie thats swampstyle.

Nothing Rhymes with Orange.

There is nothing that can compare to the thrill of leaving this planet and looking back from space to see just how blue it is, just how commanding the energy of gravity is how it keeps us in orbit pulls us back, just like the swamp.

Is there a human in there?

The vacuum of space is a most inhospitable place as is the bug infested swamp, but we are compelled to go there with the dreams of finding our own genie in a bottle... or the perfect donut.

To Go Where No Donut has Gone Before.

Space really is the final frontier, but there is Inner and Outer space, if you know what i mean.
Another TV show i grew up watching was Star Trek, probably just the best space kitsch ever.
All that next generation stuff is nice but the original will always be as swampy as it gets.

Pointy-headed Logic Extraordinair.

Father of all nerds Dr Spock, please come to the emergency room... bring your music. The ears, the hair, the vulcan salutation, all very swampy.

Captain Phallus to the Raunch Pad.

Yes he is still the captain even after all those sorry ass TV commercials for hotel room deals and such. William Shatner's signature sly smile is also swampy.

If I die, Please put my ass in a gold box and send it up to Space.

Top Secret Super Sensitive Cargo.

Yes nothing is safe from you know-it-alls out there.
Now you know what is swampy.

Next installment, I will tell you what is NOT swampy, like you don't already know.


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