swampstyle: Cruise to Somewheresburg

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Cruise to Somewheresburg

Martin Luther's Crib

This is a place that time has built. This is a story of yearning for far away places and untold riches. Only time will tell where humans will trek to fulfill the quest for cruising. A line has been drawn on the oceans, care to float across it?

Chalet with a View

From my window at the Aquamarin Inn in Papenburg I could just catch a glance of the Joseph Meyer Wharf in the distance over the winter weary trees. This small rural town in northern Germany is the birthplace of the biggest Cruise ships in the world.

Tracking the Beast

Q: Is this the mark of a fuzzy snow bunny or the hoofs of a moose monster? Clue: The deft hunter knows how to track a prey, so i did some googleing before going to P'burg. A: Let's just say you don't need GPS to find this mastodon of maritime trophies, but it helps.

Titan in a Teapot

Royal Caribbean's Newest cruise ship ECLIPSE is like the sleeping condo about to wake up with a splash of Nodic water and some Viking hot prospects. But good things take time and Euros. Built in 10-12 months on a payroll of 3/4 mill per week, the Eclipse is practically a micro-economy. Lawd know you gotta keep the Terry Malloy's of the waterfronts busy.

Barnacle Deck

If you ask me how many men work at the wharf, the answer would be "about half".

It Takes a Mt. Trashmore

Crushing really, the seemingly endless caravan of dumpster-loads of garbage this project has produced is somehow worth it when you walk inside and see where you could live for six days and five nights while island hopping in some of the worlds nicest oceans. Green has always been in.

A Tree Grows in Molecuwetlyn

The FAQ on Miami's Robert Chambers is, how swampy can he go!.

Who Likes Round Things?

The golden arch is a recurring theme though the ships design, it is the thread that stitches together the interiors of the haul, the exterior is a barge welded in a continuous bead of molten steel tempered and painted for the journeys ahead.

... and more round places.

2010 a lounge odyssey

They say the best part of a journey is the middle, maybe so. These spaces are built for people to forget temporarily about the things that tug at our pursuit of happiness.

Den of Denominations

What would a cruise be without the chance to win big at a casino. There where the shake-down is king. Lot's of boatspace is allocated to the one-armed bandits. Like a pachenco parlour pin-ball-wizard our happy travelers will wager their expendable incomes and disembark happy losers.

Live Acts of Poseidon

There is even a theater that is probably bigger that the Adrianne Arsht Center where Fraulien Gaga will play there sometime soon as she is one of the big coffers.

Coming Soon

But for now the theater is empty, the kitchens are empty, the gym, the spa, the library, the glass museum, the morgue and the weapons vault all sit empty.

Food Courting

The dining rooms sit empty, no smells of culinary cornucopias, no clanging of plates, no rumbles and grumbles of over-indulgence. Just the sound of tools over the smell of new.

Above Deck, Kinda

Finally there is an indoor pool, and outdoor pool, a jocking track, a hoops court, a putting green and much much more. Sign up now, why wait till you're old!

Gang of Four

Of all the workmen on the ship, Here is my P'burg crew from left to right: Captain Daniel Arsham, First Officer Alex Mustonen, Navigation Specialist Yadin Dickstein and Systems Specialist John Bianchi.

A Tool for Every Job

Here is what a greman tool-box looks like. Far as I can see the only thing missing is an espresso maker.

Kunstscheize

Miami's Arsham is both the serenity at the eye of a storm and the tempest of the tropics. This install photo shows a wall sculpture of thirty items resembling erosion clustered to suggest loose graphic of a hurricane image.

Worked like a Rauscher Test gem on the UN of workmen, lot's of goober-thumbs-up comments.

World Wall Warp

Sit down, relax, take a load of your feet. Here is another piece from Archam's curtain-cum-bench series; draping frozen in time as if to remind us of those infinite spaces fluttering with undulating light.

X Marks the Spot

At 14 stories above sea level, the smoke stacks of this voluptuous vessel will billow with the steam of sea faring revelers for years to come.

Tight's All Right

Here's the thing, Papenburg is forty kilometers inland up the Ems River. With only inches of clearance, the giant ship is towed out to sea with much fanfare from locals along the narrow passage.

Next XXXL

Back inside the giant garage, craft-workers are building the next beast of the blue, this time for Disney.

Bulkhead Tested

The Eclipse is now somewhere in the north sea performing Sea Trials; that is looking for troubling water, flooding the ballast tanks to tip the boat over and basically taking her on the Scuppers stress test hot-dog joy-ride.