If you've ever had to wait for a bus in Miami, sitting patiently for 30 minutes watching the luxury car traffic whiz by with drivers texting or applying make-up, then this photo will make you think twice about sitting on the bench. This gory scene was quickly cleaned up overnight.
Nostalgia Time Machine
If you've ever had the urge to travel to a far away place (or time), then this post is for you.
If you ever had the urge to go places fast, remember to wear clean undies just in case something goes terribly wrong.
Never Too Early
If you've ever been a parent, remember how rewarding it was to read to your kids. Those little sponges with impressionable eyes that gleamed with the light of optimism and naivety seem to grow up overnight into a world filled with disillusions, inhibitions and just plain nastiness.
Go Cars Go
If you've ever dreamed of shiny things that go fast, if you've ever had to wait for a bus or a three hour security line at the airport, then you will definitely want to get your own car... sit in traffic.
If You Ever
If you've ever been intimidated or detained by someone with a shiny badge, then you know the humiliation that comes with compliance. Relax, it's for your own safety.
If you've ever had an X-Ray, MRI, CatScan or looked up to find a surveillance camera staring back at you, then you have seen what is hidden in plain sight. It is the goings on of the visual animals we have always been, you are witness to the optic nerve of the information revolution.
Greeting from Tortureville
If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a stick, brace yourself for two or three lumps of the sour age-old human affliction called moral bankruptcy.
If you are the least bit interested in going somewhere fast then no amount of fluoride will help diminish the likelihood that you will get thoroughly searched before getting on an airplane.
Dust Gets in Your Eyes... and everywhere else.
If you've ever had something stick in your head like white-on-rice, then the memory of September 11, 2001 may be one of those things.
If you've ever had to ride a bike, rent a car, take a train or fly on a plane then congratulations! You are another proud member of the cult of mobility.
Getting from Point A to Point B has never been easy, but we're gonna go anyways.
Apparently blogging is nothing new to the literate world. As with storytelling for millennia in a culture of orality, information can sometimes be flubbed so that the original intended message is thouroughly misconstrued. It is the responsibility of the listener/reader to make their own conclusion, form opinion and act accordingly.
Some would rather forget that major-league Blooper when bush-appointed Justice Roberts got tongue-tied and twisted while officiating the ritual at obama's presidential oathing. For whatever Freudian slippage overwhelmed Roberts, here below I will attempt to declare my personal commitment to blogging for the calendar year 2010.
"I Swampthing do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the BlogSwampstyle, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United WWW Bloggers State."
I promise not to blow sh*t up, make stuff up, or stay up late just to get a lousy timely post posted. So expect more of the same lack-luster rule-breaking irreverent web publishing and wish me luck as one never knows when bloggers-block may set in to impede ideas or when sparks of inadvertent genius may fly. Follow most assuredly that some of my truths be posted for all posterity.
Some of us are well aware that although we are 90% water, anyone can drown in a bucket of water. In the sci-fi movie Waterworld, there is little land to be found, so our leading man has morphed into an amphibious creature reminiscent of a bygone evolutionary stage when we were all part fish part ape.
What We Got
South Florida had a watershed moment yesterday with the arrival of a much needed rain storm. The H2O was in abundance as metropolitanites waddled to a standstill in traffic jams that were nothing less than perfectly swampy.
Towels for Clunkers
Miami is practically at sea level so when a big deluge is delivered all water-hell breaks loose. Any swamp-minded motorist can attest to the torrent of confusion that come with the unexpected cats n dogs. Who wants to get wet when fully dressed for the holidays.
Dry as a Desert in the Swamp
Water is a necessary thing. We are naturally drawn to it and the creatures that inhabit the great underneath beyond our dehumidified comfort. We are so thrilled by the spectacle of marine life that seems so foreign to us yet eerily familiar as the primordial soup of our very origins.
Vacate of Annihilate
Here are a few convincing reasons why fish-man decided he might be better off on dry land.
Better than the Real Thing
So even though we here in SoFla and can just go to the beach, most folk prefer the convenience and security that only man-made water can deliver.
Down the Drain
Break out the sump pumps, when it rains it puddles... and much of Miami's hectic hustle and bustle is severely dampened to a grinding standstill. We really can't cope with anything but sunshine... and that's blasted sun is a challenge also.
Water is for Quitters
My dear mother-in-law has always maintained that water is bad for you and not really necessary for a health lifestyle. She never touches the stuff. At 82 years old on high-heals and drives pink convertible, a stiff brandy is all she thirsts for.
The Not So Distant Future
What do you think? Some science based folk will tell you that all this will be under water in 50 years. That's not a very long time. Just the same, relax, stay dry, or wet of you prefer, enjoy the swampyness that is water from the sky.
Movies about the art world are almost always really boring. It was not easy to make a film about an artist like Jean Michele Basquait, but Julian Schnabel did a very nice job. It is near impossible to paint an accurate picture of all that transpires in Miami during Art Basel Week but some one ought to chronicle what might be called the Ultimate Artzyfest.
Ask anyone, art should be left to the professionals. Swiss cheese may be full of holes but there are no people more skilled at nurturing a growing world of art makers and appreciators than the Basel organizers. It takes a willingness... and wads of cheese.
Art Miami Fair display was several notches above your average arts & crafts street fairs. The dirt on canvas Basquit portrait was one of many varied works that compelled a respectable crowd to see more. And more there was all over town from north beach to downtown and moral gables.
There are basically three kinds of works, The Good, The Very Good and The Drop Dead Great Stuff. Many clever works using optical illusions were show stopping clever. This tunnel was no more flat than the swamp is, but it's schtick has staying power.
Back at the Big Show, unsuspecting firstimers are always taken aback when turning a corner and are suddenly face to face with these gems of illusionary quirk. I want one.
Over at Scope Art Fair this unfortunate chap is either someones grandpa, a collector, or a piece of art. You pick.
The artist eyeballed, contemplates a shiny thing.
There may be an army of these flamboyant characters of just two, cause they seem to be everywhere at once. No they are not the reincarnation of the Scull Sisters, but definitely channeling the same great creative spirit.
Pixie with pigeon feet at the Big Show. Very cute bronze not to be taken lightly.
Over at the Art Asia, there were some fascinating works from our brethren from the far east, non more potent a symbol than this field of red from where the sun rises in the west. Collectors who sunk a big chunk on Chinese art are still holding, waiting for foreign markets to wake up again.
Back at the Big Show for a second look-see, First Lady Michele Obama was spotted offering her blessings and assurance of plenty of parking to all Americans and Europeans travelers alike.
Up the beach to the Grolsch fueled NADA fair at the fountainbluish Deuville Hotel, local art community icons, Scott Murrey and Grela of Wet Heat Film Projects mingled nicely with other cutting edge gallerists from around the world here to offer their treasures to throngs of art lovers.
This painting at Scope is powerful in that it portrays the current condition in the art markets... that being one of vaporized superheros where only the power-suits remain as a reminder to the viewer that even the invincible can be deflated by the almighty frivolity of the art world.
This clever piece at NADA speaks for itself. Love that.
You're gonna need gallons of Tang to get you through all the hoohaa of Art Week. Giant Kenny Scharf canvas at The Big Show.
Perfectly Swampy photo collage at Art Miami. I want it.
Expanded PolystYrene was widely seen in use by a myriad of artist, including this elegant french gallery at Art Miami. I did not invent styrofoam but have been using it long enough to earn the title Prince of American Marble.
This rag-tag clan of artzy types had a great booth at Scope, I think they were living there for the week.
Street Art is everywhere and thanks to Tony Goldman and Jeffery Deitch much of the urban masterpieces on his Wynwood properties will not be subject to the county's insidious Sign Ordinance bushit. Graffiti is here to stay and not a century too soon. This is the new face of miami.
The City and Beaches really need to clean up their act. Traffic congestion due to the relentless road work was a cluster-flub of civic embarrassment and waisted time for many visitors on VIP schedules.
This install in Wynwood is so Miami it is swampy good.
Back in the old country they are still showing us how it's done.
For now until next year the art season in the swamp is closed, hurray for natives.
God Bless Art
Meanwhile Visit the Swampspace Gallery Cookie Show - open till December 20th.